Text by Marissa De Rozario
Edited by Pravin Nair
Having readily available content anywhere and everywhere has been surmised to being a great win for our transcendence into the future. That said, there has been evidence of creeping conservative, right-wing, misogynistic narratives that have popped up greatly in recent years. Though many experts have weighed in their opinions and conducted empirical studies to justify the weight and influence of violent and aggressive media, the results have been more nuanced than certain. It is easy to chalk up the current violence against women conducted by men as an influential element motivated by violent displays of action through TV, movies, and video games. But in reality, something more nefarious is at play.
It began, perchance in 2018. Then in 2019, the movement took off. An entire Reddit thread emboldened a community of men near and far. They called themselves, Incels. A portmanteau for involuntary celibate people. The ever growing reach of the incel and its “red-pill” ethics and culture has become an impending concern for communities and governments at large. An incel, as Merriam-Webster explains, is someone [typically a man for a female incel is referred to as a femcel] who regards themselves as being involuntarily celibate and typically expresses extreme resentment and hostility towards those who are sexually active. A 2018 article titled, ‘Does anyone have the right to sex?’ written by Amia Srinivasan that was published in the London Review of Books, frames the impending nature of how incels —sexless, hateful men who once only existed online and spewed violent and harmful ideations towards women — would soon transpire from just ideology and an online existence, to real life occurrences.
Srinivasan elucidates the story of British-Malaysian college dropout who, at the time, marked himself to being the world’s most famous “incel”. His murderous rampage of three of his housemates, a friend, a passerby, two UC Santa Barbara students (women) marked an opening to the world of red-pilled thinking. The stabbing and shootings took place in 2014. Elliot Rogder’s crimes were definitely the works of an incel. The writer, Srinivasan, expounds that in 2017, the metastasising growth of the online discussion forum, r/Incels, was brought down by the Reddit team in late 2017 amidst policy changes on the site. But like most cancerous things, it somehow found a way into the mainstream zeitgeist.
This is not to say that the attack on the young school girl that took place in Bandar Utama this October wasn’t the direct result of misogyny. It was. Don’t get it twisted. Femicide happens more often in Malaysia than anyone cares to admit it. Just because it doesn’t get reported in the papers, or the fact that it isn’t publicised in great striking detail, does not make it any less non apparent. Our culture solely derives function from its abuse — mental, physical, sexual, emotional — of our women. But what is important to note is the advent of incels is a subgroup of men, who not only detest the women they cannot have sex with, but rather also, the men who get to have sex with the said women they desire. Now, the conversations surrounding incels become more nuanced, layered. Look at the recent case that took place in Alor Gajah on the 16th of October. Four male students were alleged in sexually assaulting and raping a female student.
Two days prior, the stabbing made headlines nationwide. In more ways than one, these two cases are interlinked. The thread is simple. Boys, who are taught by men and by society at large, to go after the girl. But What separates the two instances of violence is the internalisation of one, and the action upon the other. The sexual assault case and the stabbing case stem from men, or in this case boys, believing they have an agency over women and their bodies. Men, especially men in Asia, are taught from a young age to pursue women at any cost necessary. The stabbing case — met with rejection, led to a violent attack, resulting in death. Rejection is a great motivation for incels. It emboldens their believes. “If I get rejected, what they’re saying about women, what I feel about myself is true.” Rape on the other, relies solely on the violence in abusing power.
Incels thrive on self-victimisation, building upon an endless slew of narratives about the women who have wronged them. Many a times, the lines become blurry when great violence is enacted by men upon women. The endless conversations on the stabbing case has brought up many factions within the community. Why did this happen? How could this have happened?! We should bring back caning! Send them to boot camp. The real question is, why is no one interrogating our own selves? How far removed have we become to not acknowledge that the youth we intend on taking over the reins from us, are in fact, learning everything they know about life, from us? Men say to their young sons, “Don’t be like girl. Stop crying. It’s just a scraped knee.” Families tell their young daughters, “When you grow up, you need to be able to know how to cook for your husband.”
The red-pilled ideology starts at home. The West is not really to blame. The West emboldens this schools of thoughts. Sure. But as a Malaysian society, we are, at best, conservative. And this conservatism not only perpetuates the femicide and violence against our women, but also continues to fail the men within society. The mass growth of incels in the country was bound to happen. We cannot begin to tackle these issues, and effectively breaking down the deep claws of the patriarchy unless we start the change at home. Are you teaching your children about consent? Do you hold your friends accountable? Do you excuse locker room talk with ‘your boys’. Can you be a feminist? Do you understand what it means to be a feminist? Where both men and women have equity in the world we subsist in?
The more we untangle the wires of incels, we find the patriarchy in a dance with misogyny and a deep contempt for women at large. At the heart of the matter, one really needs to ask themselves: “How do I handle rejection, and who am I to have the right to sex?” Teaching ourselves and our children this — yes children for the lack of sexual education also motivates greater violence against women — would play a great role in reforming us Malaysians. Until then, watch what pill you swallow. It could be red. And make sure your kids know how to tell the difference too.