The thing we lack most as every day is filled with what we box as ‘Too much’. The train of thought never stops for too long, it does not wait, though it does come back to the same station every 6 minutes or 10. Ideas are slippery, a friend once told me. You’ve got to hold on to it just right, not too tight, or like a bar of soap, it will fall out of your hands or moulded out of shape. The excursion goes back into the place you’ve been introduced to since birth yet is so rarely visited: the expedition inwards.
When we say the short words like ‘patience’ and ‘wait’, the weight to it is rarely wholesomely felt. It rolls off our tongues like marbles escaping from the vat of acid, through the throat and sounded into meaning. What is your name? Is synonymous to what is the sound I make to gain your attention? Shape your mouth into an O, now an A, now an L. You see, it is mere mouth movement. Synchronization of when the inside is projected outside. What you choose is what will also choose you, in time.
It is not always exciting, neither is it always so heavy. It is what’s in between that must be invited to tea and looked directly at. It will be chaotic, but never not worth it. No more fist fights with the mirror, it is now the age and occasion to understand the only person that can truly understand yourself is yourself. ‘Too much’, is too easy and too untrue. Yes, your emotions are valid, the traumas are true but they happened and you are born into the family, the skin and hairy legs you didn’t choose or sign up for. It is within your control how you choose to go about the circumstances you are tied to. It is within your control what happens from that point on. I used to believe there was a bug in my brain that rearranges the wires for fun until I realized how strongly I spoke him into existence when the buttons were in my hands all along.
It is okay to take your time, not so much when time decides it will take you first. When will you be the best guitar player in the world if you are only ever speaking of it? Pick up the six strings. We are too grown to be talking about ambitions unrealized because of the lack of resources. We live in a generation so creative, so strongly opinionated, looking at the success of others so quickly and so young without realizing they are just as human as we are. The same, you and I. The chances, capabilities and gifts are only practiced crafts. I am only reminding you of the things you already know. Look at the little things you do with your time, look at where you take your hands and your mind. Be selective of the sounds you project towards yourself and others. If you didn’t exist, who would be reading this? In between the whispers, screams, the blood and ice creams, there is a bench where you should simply sit and just look up at the old oak tree.