A Sense of Urgency by Alyssa Krista

Writer Alyssa Krista looks deep within, coming to terms with herself in an exploration of what feels most urgent to her.

Two years into my 20’s and it’s been a whirlwind of emotions and experiences.

I’m in my final year of university, I have a part-time job that I’m grateful for and I just recently became a mom––a cat mom to be exact, I’m not ready to bear human children just yet.

We all have things we prioritise––things that are urgent to each of us. There are some of us who search for stability, some who search for popularity and the rush of being well-known in the community and others who just want to live life as simply as possible. There are, of course, other things individuals around the world look for that are of priority which is a given––all of us are different in our wants and needs. We all strive for different things and that is what makes us all so unalike.

As my own person, I do prioritise stability and the freedom that it sells. I strive for financial freedom and the ability to make my own choices whilst still feeling grounded and stable. 

But even though that is important to me, I believe the one thing that I am searching for right now is the ability to belongYou might ask: “You have a family, you have friends. What do you mean you’re looking to belong?”.

I don’t think it’s that easy. We can have family and friends but do we actually feel like we belong? We have everything going for us but do we belong in the ‘scene’, as they call it these days? It’s not as simple as reciting our ABCs. The feeling of belonging in our own life is difficult to come across, especially when we are striving for so many other things in our existence that bring forth the fantasy of freedom and happiness. It gets pushed back because the reality of life is that we have to put aside certain things in order to survive. Life is a game of survival––it’s either you work hard to live paycheck to paycheck or you sip on overpriced coffee every day without a worry in the world because your future is set in stone. 

And it’s not only the external sense of belonging, it’s also belonging on the inside. It’s about accepting ourselves and belonging to our own body. The brain is the most powerful organ in our body, it can either paint a picture that is completely unrealistic or something so real you’re overwhelmed. It’s a constant tug-of-war between the logical and illogical parts of myself. How do I tell myself that I belong? How do I go throughout my day without feeling out of place and unwanted? Why do I fill my head with negativity and the worst part of it all; why do I believe it? 

It’s difficult to feel like we belong, but it’s important to note that we do belong, and even if it takes years to find that sense of belonging, it should be sought after. It’s a piece of work that will truly reap the rewards in the long run––not only with others but as an individual in this huge, unrelenting world. 

Alyssa is an English teacher with a bubbly personality who gets along with almost every person she meets. She is really meticulous and mature as a person (and somewhat a perfectionist too) but it doesn’t hold her back from having fun with her friends! Follow her on Instagram here

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